We’ve all read about the tragedies and near-misses of children playing pranks on allergic kids by knowingly exposing them to their allergen. One that immediately comes to mind is the horrific story of Karanbir Cheema, a 13-year-old boy with a severe milk allergy who suffered anaphylaxis after schoolmates flung cheese at him.
Thankfully, this installment of our popular You Be the Judge series falls in the near-miss category.
A devastated mom reached out to a reddit group on parenting, seeking advice on how to discipline her 8-year-old daughter who pulled a similar prank on a classmate:
My daughter almost killed another student yesterday..
This is such a big shock to me, and I’m still absolutely appalled at her behavior. If anyone has any advice, please help me..
Lunchtime yesterday, my child decided to follow 2 other students and stick a peanut in a chicken nugget and give it to a student who has a deadly allergy to peanuts.. THANKFULLY the little girl is smart and noticed there was something in the nugget and told a teacher. But the fact that she did it has my momma heart absolutely broken. All the what ifs keep replaying in my head like what if she didn’t see it and ate the nugget? What if she went into anaphylactic shock and the ambulance didn’t make it on time? Im just dumbfounded at the whole situation..
Principal called of course and explained how she is taking this matter very seriously. All students involved are receiving the same punishment. They were almost suspended, but instead are giving her ISS for elementary kids (sitting with the SRO in his office for a couple days) so that this will be a learning opportunity. I’ve talked to her about the severity of the situation but I don’t think she fully understands. She swore that she told the other students involved that “we shouldn’t do that” but she did it anyways. I believe that was her way of trying to pass the blame on someone so I don’t believe her. She still did it even if she knew it was wrong and could hurt someone.
I spoke to the parents of the little girl and they were extremely upset as they should be. They said she didn’t understand why her friends would do something that could kill her and I just sobbed.. I apologized as much as I could with all the sincerity that I have. This is not okay..
This whole situation just has me speechless. She is grounded and will be losing all (edited from some) privileges, but what else can I do? How can I make her understand what could have happened and that she should never play around with allergies no matter how “funny” it may sound.
EDIT- she is 8 years old, and is already in therapy. Her therapist was informed and is having a meeting with her today.
EDIT #2- there are so many comments coming in I can’t keep up so please bear with me as I navigate this post and being at work. My childs father IS a police officer and the other girls father is ex law enforcement. They are taking the matter extremely seriously.
SCHOOL UPDATE- The principal called me earlier and said they are making the whole grade attend an assembly about the matter. I told her I believe ISS is too light as well, but she insisted on using this as a learning opportunity about the dangers of allergens for not just mine and the ones involved, but for everyone. My child will be separated from the group of girls for a while as well until the teacher/principal feels they can be trusted to regroup.
So we turn to you, our readers, who are deeply concerned about anaphylaxis and may even have children who have been “pranked” in a similar way.
What is your advice for this mom? Has the school done enough to teach her daughter and others, or is additional discipline needed? What would you do if you were in the mom’s situation?
Sound off in the comments section below and share your insights.
I have to say something to this mom…
I am an allergy mom and I will tell you that the fact that you are not just brushing this off and you are doing your best to help your child understand the severity of her choice is the absolute best response!! I am cheering you on!
Now for your child…
I believe your reaction and the fact you are not taking it lightly will sink in. Even though she is 8, and some time has passed consider asking her “what can you do to help children with allergies be safe in your school”. Talking about the fact we all make mistakes but it is how we fix them that is important.
I hope this gives you some clarity.
Absolutely! I’m incredibly impressed by her response to the situation. At the end of the day, her daughter is still a child, with so much room to grow and learn. We’re all lucky this didn’t turn out worse, but it’s a powerful reminder that kids pick up on how adults talk about allergies. When they hear things being minimized, mocked, or doubted, it’s no surprise they don’t take them seriously.
My daughter sits at the peanut/nut-free table with one other student who has allergies, along with a few friends whose lunches are checked-and last year, in 2nd grade, they had peanuts thrown at them. It was terrifying. All of our precautions and planning felt shattered in an instant. It was deeply unsettling for both of us.
Schools could be doing so much more when it comes to educating students about allergies. There are incredible resources on the FARE website, and the compassion and awareness that come from teaching kids about allergies, and other medical conditions, benefit everyone.
I am so happy Mom took this so seriously as well.
Many people do not.
Others are busy not teaching their children.
The fact that you care and you want your child to comprehend why this was so bad is extremely important and give us some hope.
It is difficult at this age to understand death means forever. Having her talk with therapy is excellent and your therapist can keep periodically bringing it up to your daughter.
Needs to be reinforced about why this is not a joke. The seriousness of it all.
To go a step further (what I would do) is call her out and say that you know she was going along with it with her friends. You are strong and if you did not want to do it you would have stopped or told someone. Lying is never reason or excuse and is always discovered. Really talk about honesty, integrity and taking accountability for your actions.
Thank you Mom for taking it seriously.
I love that the mom is concerned and is taking action also! She could have just been an accomplice and these are still young kids who need to be educated!
There is no training and teachers are not even told of allergies at the high school level. Not all kids are good advocates for themselves.
My daughter was in n AP biology lab where they were using milk. She is severely allergic to all animal milk, even human…even skin contact.
Kids were dripping and spilling the milk all over. My daughter put gloves on right away but the teacher noticed that she was not participating. She was a very intimidating teacher who many have had problems with. She was the only AP bio teacher. She told my daughter to pour some milk into a container. My daughter said, I am allergic to milk. The teacher said you are just pouring it. My daughter was scared but did it. At the end of all the experiments she told my daughter to wash all the equipment from everyone’s experiments. She said NO I am allergic, you can ask anyone or contact the nurse. The teacher told her to do it. She was really badgering my daughter and a couple kids said, Ms Nichols, Aria has had a milk allergy ever since we have all known her from kindergarten. After all the back and forth, the bell finally rang. Aria was so upset she actually walked right out of school, left and walked home.
I was very surprised to see her and then became more and more angered with each passing second as the day was explained to me.
I called my husband and told him to cancel his first couple of patients the next morning. Then I called the school and demanded an immediate meeting with the principal first thing in the morning and I was not taking no for an answer. I explained my husband will also be attending. Usually I just took care of things on my own, but when I was pulling my husband out of his office they knew it was serious. The whole town knows him.
Aria did not want to attend the meeting so she went off to class.
Weirdly at the same time we were having our meeting the bio teacher tracked down my daughter and said she did not realize she had an allergy.
So proud…Aria said, yes you were. My mom and I talked with you about it at the beginning of the school year and asked if there were experiments with milk and you said yes and would provide a substitute.
(Aria also reminded her of bday treats and she told her again. Since it is a small class she brought in treats for kids bdays, which we did not know….the first time it happened shortly after school began, Aria said I am sorry I cannot eat that bc of my milk allergy. I wrote her an email the same afternoon and asked her if she could give me a heads up when she was bringing treats in bc I would make sure that Aria also had something to eat as a treat. I never expected others to accommodate food.).
Aria said thanks for the apology? But you knew I am allergic and I told you in class. The teacher was attempting to gaslight her.
Someone must have found out or she asked someone or talked to the nurse. Bc I said nothing when I demanded the meeting and did not say what it was about. I think she heard I demanded a meeting from someone. So much gossip. Who knows.
So sick of teachers who do not listen or care. She was not the first and won’t be the last.
So many people think it is just a lactose problem, even medical professionals. NO it is a true allergy. Not as common or well known, but an allergy all the same.
No one will ever know the lengths we go to or how it feels to be the parent of a child with an allergy. They should feel very fortunate they do not have to know, worry and become an expert label reader.