You be the Judge: Is Woman with Peanut Allergy Responsible for Stealing the Spotlight from Bride?


Don’t wear white! Don’t do anything to attract attention from the bride! These are the unwritten rules for attending a wedding, but what if you suffer an allergic reaction during the reception?

That question brings us to this installment of our “You be the Judge” series where we present a food allergy-related scenario and invite you to sound off by sharing your opinions and expertise.

This time, a woman posting as u/theannoyin_friend told her story on reddit via a post entitled AITA for not checking with the bride about my allergy thrice?

We’ve referred to the “AITA” subreddit before where this story was recently posted. AITA is short for “Am I the A-Hole”, a group that provides a medium where people question their own behavior and readers vote.

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Here is the post in its entirety:

Hello everyone. English is not my first language so there may be some errors. Apologies. It was my cousins wedding a couple days ago. I am allergic to peanuts so 2 days before the wedding I asked her if there were any dishes served that had peanuts in it so that I could avoid eating that. She told me she’ll check with the caterers and inform me on the day of the wedding. Fast forward on the day I asked her which dishes had the nut in it and she told me non of them did. After lunch I start to feel my throat closing in and my skin itching. Thankfully I had my EpiPen with and and stabbed it into my thigh. All this had attracted quite the attention and people were surrounding me. I was fine but went to the hospital just to be safe.

I later got texts from the bride and her siblings how it was incredibly selfish of me to steal the attention from the bride and a bunch of cuss words. My family thinks it was her who endangered my life and should apologize. She says I should have just sucked it up. I was sure I wasn’t in the wrong but now I’m not so sure. So reddit am I the a**hole?

Edit: so many people have asked why I waited till the last 2 day to ask her and I did that because my whole family knows I’m allergic to peanuts and during occasional gatherings I’ll ask or they’ll tell me if something they prepared had peanuts or was prepared in a utensil that had traces of it i.e cross contamination. I didn’t want her to change her menu for me and would’ve eaten nothing if there weren’t anything. I don’t mind cuz I don’t want to inconvenience people just because of me and have her plan hereby around me. Also in our culture we don’t really have RSVPs AND especially those that ask about your allergies lol. I just avoid eating when I go to wedding that aren’t my close friends or familys. Also I couldn’t possibly ask the caterers as the teenage boys and girls of the family serve the food which was arranged by the caterers.

There’s a lot to unpack here, although we’re grateful the author had her epinephrine auto-injector with her and didn’t hesitate to use it.

As of this writing, the story has received over 4,100 “upvotes” — meaning readers found the post compelling — and 675 comments with the majority of readers voting the woman is NOT an a-hole.

So now we turn to you, our readers — experts in all things food allergy — and ask you to render your opinion: was the woman at fault here or is this simply the case of another Bridezilla?

You be the judge by sounding off below.

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Dave Bloom
Dave Bloom
Dave Bloom is CEO and "Blogger in Chief" of

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  1. The bride chose to wait until the day of the wedding to inform her guest/family member. Thank goodness the epi pen worked. There is not a 100% guarantee. The guest in no way intended to upstage the bride. All should be thankful that there was a good outcome for both parties involved.

  2. If it wasn’t possible for the allergic guest to ask the caterer ahead of time, she should have eaten before the wedding or brought her own food. Maybe she could have gone into the kitchen to ask.

    The guest should have written in her response card about her allergies and gotten the caterers phone number to ask way before the wedding. Asking the bride was ridiculous. The bride didn’t cook the food. The ownership of your allergic safety is on you, not anyone else.
    That being said, that bride and her siblings should be slapped. No one is stealing attention intentionally by using their epi to save their life. What a selfish a-hole of a bride!!!

  3. I would have asked the caterers on the day of the event for a little extra assurance.

    Obviously, the family of the bride is out of line. Accidents happen, and one happened here. The bride and her family should have just been grateful their family member survived. This is another unfortunate case of, “your allergies are an inconvenience and we don’t take them seriously.”


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